To all the mothers out there. I hope you fully enjoyed your day. I hope you were appreciated for all that you do by your children and your spouse or others in your life who see you and your heart as a mother.
Being a mother is one of the hardest tasks on the planet, yet the most rewarding all at the same time. I feel so incredibly Blessed to have the second name "Mom". I know there are so many out there whose heart is breaking to have that title but no matter where you are on that journey, God has the perfect plan lined out for all of us. I will say that being a mother has brought me so many emotions that are indescribable. It has brought me so much joy, laughter, happiness, feelings of achievement and yet sadness, heartache and disappointment all at the same time. I probably could use 500 more descriptive words of all that I have experienced thru motherhood but I think you get the point. From watching them smile, the laughter, taking their 1st steps, to the hugs they give you, cuddles, the stumbles, the cuts, the falls, the let downs, loosing the 1st tooth, (mom forgetting about her tooth-fairy duty), dressing up for Halloween, the joy of Christmas morning, watching the love for an animal, the list goes on. The memories slowly try and slip away but your heart hangs on to the best and the worst. I have succeeded in so many areas as Mom but I have failed big time in more areas than I care to remember. The failures have chipped away at pieces of my heart leaving it feeling cracked, crushed, bruised and empty in so many areas but the moments of success are like fireworks going off inside. The problem is we cant have a re-do. We always think there is tomorrow but reality is we can't get back yesterday. I always think I wish I had done this or that or handled it different but I cant and honestly, that sucks.....My children have taught me so much. I mean heck, I was a baby having babies we basically grew up together. The main regret I have about having my boys at such a young age is that I wish I could have done it better. Now that I have my daughter at an older age I definitely think I will do it (somewhat) better now that I have had to learn from my mistakes. I am human though and I am sure as better as I think may do it, I will still mess up along the way. There is no perfect parent but as I write this out and my eyes fill up with tears at the good memories, the bad memories and the mistakes I have made. I actually know that the love I have for them is perfect. It is bigger than any emotion and love I have ever known. This Mother's Day 2018 was filled with more mixed emotions than I can even explain. It was good, bad, sad and happy all at the same time. I was happy to have to be able to gather for brunch with my husband, uncle, daughter and step daughter. The joy of spending quality time with them is priceless but there was still so much of my heart missing. My mom was in Dallas, my other step daughter was with her mom, my boys were not there (this is too heart-breaking to even get into). Especially since my oldest had prom this weekend and I am probably the only mom in America that didn't get to be there to take pictures and see him off. I never in a million years would have imagined that his senior year of high school would have played out this way. Its definitely not what I had always pictured in my mind. ( This is just another huge reminder of the things I wish I could change.) my younger son was in trouble from school and I was just a little discouraged and disappointed, but all these things will too pass and I will wish I could get these days back. With all this, to top it off it is our first Mothers Day since my grandma passed away. I didn't see her every Mothers Day but we did usually try to be together. Even if we didn't see one another we always talked. Her voice, (Ohhhh her voice) what I wouldn't give to hear her voice and have one last conversation. I would be worse than a girl in high school staying up to talk to the boy she liked. I don't think I would ever be able to hang up that phone. I know she was right there with us this Mothers Day I just wish we could have seen her. I truly tried to hide all these emotions I was feeling on this day. I tried to stay joyful thru it all for my family not to hv to feel an impact but it’s not always easy. I will say I had some great quality time with my oldest step daughter that I am so thankful to have had. We don't get that much, so I will for sure take it when I can. So to all the moms out there I hope you know that Mothers Day may not have felt perfect or if you are lucky it actually may have been. Just remember, your love as a mom always will be perfect no matter how imperfect your journey may be.
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November 2020
AuthorBrandy Burgess: Lover of all things beauty, fashion, lifestyle, and family oriented. I am always on the look out for a good deal for you and for me. |